I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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