You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
