I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
