I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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