sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
