I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
