I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
