it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
