I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
