She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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