Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
