worst night to have a conscience
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
