What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
