i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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