Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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