i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
