then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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