I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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