i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
