I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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