You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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