I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
