The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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