On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
