$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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