in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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