did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
