I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
