all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
