yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
