Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
