K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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