You're so nebulous sometimes
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
