Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
