just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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