Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
