Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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