Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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