Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Holy shit dude........stairs
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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