apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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