true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
