dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
