he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
