so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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