Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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