i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
