Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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