I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's never too late to be topless.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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