seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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