have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
