i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
