dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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