You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
