I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
