Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
