So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
