I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
