we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
