when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
