you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The struggles of a small town man whore
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
