are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
