I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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